The DMV fued has ended!

My fued and frustration with the dmv has finally ended, the curtain has been drawn and the fat woman has stop singing. I prevailed over those irrating, annoying dumbasses.....I won and passed my driving test - it's no biggie passing the test but its the length and effort that i had to go through! the procedure is more confusing then george bush's dvd collection...........

My two family friends that i refer to as double JJ (and not that stupid wretler named jeff jarrett) have lent me their car for over a month, i think we need more people like these guys, good working americans..............thanks jj!!!

I have also met a few other friends, my circle is growing and soon i'll have a database of friends on my phone - not bad considering i've only been here for over 5 weeks.............i'll give a shout out to corrie, sheetal, kiran and wesley!!!

oh and england beat croatia 5-1 - was npot expecting that

room 322

It's been a week or so since i've written something and this could only mean two things;
1) either I’m lazy or
2) I’ve been busy!

my answer is number 2...... I had dinner with one of the leads from ER and she was a cool chick, she was feeling the farnie(me) charm and wit. I know she liked me (don't wanna sound like an arragont tosser) but she really was into me (or then again maybe not).

Went to florentine garden night club and oh my god these girls know how to shake and move it, I’m surprised that these girls get away with murder on the dance floor.....it's as if they are giving away free lap dances the whole night, but the way they shake their butts is smooth........back home you wouldn’t see this stuff!!!!
I had an argument with room 322 – apparently the guy decided to purchase a hooker (who thought she was fine wine – no honey your just old wine without the good taste) and this hooker had a huge drug attitude – she said “ I go to many great hotels like the Hilton and work and this hotel is a 1 star” and being me I obviously replied back saying “I’m sure you have worked in many hotel rooms, offering late night promotions” …..Big, no BIG mistake – she hit the roof – the goofy guy never clocked on but she did and nagged like a 70 year old woman who has been in a loveless marriage for over 30 years. I had to give them a refund and kick them out the hotel – otherwise the cops would have come.

Oh went to ranyon canyon again, i love that breath taking place, such a nice peaceful friendly place- this place over looks the whole of la, and one can see these attractive hollywood hill houses - oh yes one day they will be mine, hopefully that day will come soon.....a little advice, never go hiking in your sandals, I did and messed up my foot…….
Got my second audition tomorrow – yeah!!!!

Audition 1 - and the big greasy man boob man

Finally i had my first audition in Hollywood, yep my first and hopefully not the last. I was auditioning for a car commercial - nothing great, nothing special but just an average non union car commercial that pays 1000 dollars. The funny thing is I saw lots of insecure actors pitching themselves while waiting - hey buddy i'm not the casting director the guy inside the room is, go tell him...........While being at the audition this tubby chap/bloke/man wearing a tight shirt decided to flex his man boobs at me! WTF - i said to him "put your one trick pony away and tuck those double d's in your stomach" - the guy was stocky, he was tubby and he certainly never heard of cardio vascular.............someone please tell him, but the weird thing is in his head he is probably thinking i am so anold swazzenger - yeah but with 50% more body fat and about 1 foot shorter................

I purchased these apples about 3 weeks ago and for some reason, they have never gone off? they still look ripe, they smell ripe and they look yummy. I don't know what type of nuclear experiement these food manufacturers are doing to these apples but its working. I don't wanna eat an apple and 10 years later i begin to glow green..............

Waiting for auditon number 2.

The woman in agony!

Okay, so I am working night shift at this hotel in hollywood and a customer calls the front desk and says to me "I can hear a woman in agony, call the cops" My first thoughts where to locate this woman in agony!!!!! I searched the car park, next door, the surrounding area and could not find anything - so i'm thinking that the man is lying telling porkies......Being me i decided to confront the man who told me about this incident. I go up to his room (and his male partner is sleeping) - but to my astonishment he was telling the truth and i could hear these agonising screams (sounds like a dying fox or a shot animal) - i investigated further and found out the screams did not come from outside or from some dirty alley way but from the room next door......I listened very quietly and laughed out loud as the woman was having sex - The 2 men could not believe that a woman would make such a noise during those happy moments -

Off to watch chaka khan and arrested development at somje gig today! should be interesting

How to open a banana

Okay, i know that this might sound weird but i have a geeky question? infact its so geeky and meaningless i thought i should ask it; "how do all you guys out there open a banana". I was brought up with the impression that a banana should be open with the side without the stick. But apparently my flat mate thinks the opposite, he thinks that one should open a banana with the stick. Can anyone out there clarify this.

Being a british actor (waiting for his first audition) i went to a barbar shop and the person who apparently cut my hair, was on a tv show for 4 years and got signed up for a record music deal.....ummm if this happened (not saying it didn't - but 99% likely that it didn't) then why the hell are you cutting my hair............

The scary thing about hollywood is the amount of homeless people you see. I think there is a large increase since i last visited, don't ask me why? maybe due to the fact that the state is bankrupt or people losing their jobs - but they seem alot more happy then the average homeless individual................god knows how any one can stay so positive when being homeless.......

I wrote a short film last night - i'll give you guys more updates on this, i wanna produce and write it and give myself a small part - its a film that has one location........its a short simple movie..... not gonna say its the next best thing since the wheel was invented - just a small creative film..............

peace n love

Farnie

The dmv horror continues

Okay, its week four and I have attended
- 4 DMV test centres
- Had to do a crappy theory test which if one fails you can redo it again after 10 minutes - yeah i know wtf
- and today i failed my driving test even though i have been driving in london for the passed 5 years - the stupid muppet examiner said i cut someone off when indicating - no its a blind spot and i never moved into his lane - it was her word over mine - i was gonna punch her and throw her in my trunk but as i am a gentle man i said no........i have to redo the test on the 9th of september - even though i failed i still drove home - stupid huh?

I construted over 33 office chairs at work today - i think thats a world record. My hands have aged 3 years in the space of 8 hours, my hands look like they are third world hands.......Wow if any one out there can beat that record please let me know.

Oh and at the 3 star hotel we have many homeless people living at the back of the car park - they are kinda like gypsies but not as they can't haggle.

the 3 star hotel - and a cup of tea

okay its week 3 going on week 4 - i'm not sure how much has happened but i think lots have happened -for those who don't know i work nights at some dodgy 3 star hotel in hollywood - on my first night i showed up one hour late and drunk - he gave me 2 hours notice - who calls someone up at 10pm on saturday night asking if they can work (unless you work for 7/11 lol) - by the third day i single handledly destroyed their main computer and their communication lines by dropping tea (by accident) on their main frame computer - thus i never got hired for the next 3,4 days until yesterday. I had a new job title " night auditor, valet and security" - just because they give me a torch light they think i can pass as a security guard. What the hell, its money coming in it helps when you're an actor.

District number 9 is the best film this year - it beats star trek and any movie i have seen - oh i had a haircut today and the bullshit that this guy was talkiing was incredible - he was saying that he got signed up for a big record music deal and that he was on a show for 4 years - yeah right just hurry up and continue to cut my hair - i told him i played for spurs - oh on that note i saw them at the kings head - these liverpool fans out numbered us by 5-1 - but we outnumbered them on goals 2-1 got my dmv driving test on wednesday wish me luck, ........miss everyone at home -