How to open a banana

Okay, i know that this might sound weird but i have a geeky question? infact its so geeky and meaningless i thought i should ask it; "how do all you guys out there open a banana". I was brought up with the impression that a banana should be open with the side without the stick. But apparently my flat mate thinks the opposite, he thinks that one should open a banana with the stick. Can anyone out there clarify this.

Being a british actor (waiting for his first audition) i went to a barbar shop and the person who apparently cut my hair, was on a tv show for 4 years and got signed up for a record music deal.....ummm if this happened (not saying it didn't - but 99% likely that it didn't) then why the hell are you cutting my hair............

The scary thing about hollywood is the amount of homeless people you see. I think there is a large increase since i last visited, don't ask me why? maybe due to the fact that the state is bankrupt or people losing their jobs - but they seem alot more happy then the average homeless individual................god knows how any one can stay so positive when being homeless.......

I wrote a short film last night - i'll give you guys more updates on this, i wanna produce and write it and give myself a small part - its a film that has one location........its a short simple movie..... not gonna say its the next best thing since the wheel was invented - just a small creative film..............

peace n love

Farnie

The dmv horror continues

Okay, its week four and I have attended
- 4 DMV test centres
- Had to do a crappy theory test which if one fails you can redo it again after 10 minutes - yeah i know wtf
- and today i failed my driving test even though i have been driving in london for the passed 5 years - the stupid muppet examiner said i cut someone off when indicating - no its a blind spot and i never moved into his lane - it was her word over mine - i was gonna punch her and throw her in my trunk but as i am a gentle man i said no........i have to redo the test on the 9th of september - even though i failed i still drove home - stupid huh?

I construted over 33 office chairs at work today - i think thats a world record. My hands have aged 3 years in the space of 8 hours, my hands look like they are third world hands.......Wow if any one out there can beat that record please let me know.

Oh and at the 3 star hotel we have many homeless people living at the back of the car park - they are kinda like gypsies but not as they can't haggle.

the 3 star hotel - and a cup of tea

okay its week 3 going on week 4 - i'm not sure how much has happened but i think lots have happened -for those who don't know i work nights at some dodgy 3 star hotel in hollywood - on my first night i showed up one hour late and drunk - he gave me 2 hours notice - who calls someone up at 10pm on saturday night asking if they can work (unless you work for 7/11 lol) - by the third day i single handledly destroyed their main computer and their communication lines by dropping tea (by accident) on their main frame computer - thus i never got hired for the next 3,4 days until yesterday. I had a new job title " night auditor, valet and security" - just because they give me a torch light they think i can pass as a security guard. What the hell, its money coming in it helps when you're an actor.

District number 9 is the best film this year - it beats star trek and any movie i have seen - oh i had a haircut today and the bullshit that this guy was talkiing was incredible - he was saying that he got signed up for a big record music deal and that he was on a show for 4 years - yeah right just hurry up and continue to cut my hair - i told him i played for spurs - oh on that note i saw them at the kings head - these liverpool fans out numbered us by 5-1 - but we outnumbered them on goals 2-1 got my dmv driving test on wednesday wish me luck, ........miss everyone at home -

The big fat telly tubby on sunset

Okay - okay its week 2 going onto 3 week and still the hunt for a job continues - yep those pesky kids from school and uni have taken all the jobs - i think we need to ship them to australia like the british did with our criminals........I'm looking to get my SAG film card also known as the fag card, this would allow me to audtion for anything and i hope to get this soon - i have to do extra work - yep extra work to get to the top.....minor bruv!!!!
Oh the chessecake factory was a waste of time, they are not hiring! i wanted to throw a cheesecake at the manager but it looked to nice not to eat.

I went to the standard hotel a lovely hotel and got hit on by some big fat green teletubby gay guy(i have nothing against gay guys) - but i had to say he was smooth - he said to me " are you on my space"
i replied "no"
then he said "do you wanna come to my place" (yes i know arrrrrrh - but smooth for the way he did it)
Apart from that i met a girl who owns 2 pet rats - after the russian drug disaster i moved into a new place which has great karma and light bulbs - the people are sane and funny - I have met loads of people in the film business that love to name drop - even though i pretend that i met george clooney at the skybar 10 minutes before i arrived 0h i love to play mind games- if you're not on imdb.com your bullshitting..........my list of growing friends continue - i do miss the football back home but its eroding slowly - but then again i like the kings head which is a pub that shows all the footy games at 7 am - so i'll be hitting that....

My 2nd week in hollywood - barcelona fc in town - how embarassing

I'm missing everyone back home in England!!!!!!However I got a job interview at the cheesecake factory and hopefully one day i too can become a cheesecake..........Apparently i have 4 years experience being a server and my reference is kevin scott (wasif - my older brother) and feenie (my older sister) - no lie - its amazing what several lies can do to one's cv/resume.

I went to the beach yesterday to get away from the hollywood crowd- it was relaxing, it's so weird sitting on the beach on sunday afternoon compared to rainy old fish n chips london. - i wish you guys were here smoking or drinking or just eating ice cream.........most funniest thing that happened was the barcelona football team came to hollywood to promote barcelona and only 50 fans showed up, so embarrasing! i saw puyol who is built like a brick house- but it was so sad when you can hear individual claps and whistles (mostly coming from me) -if barcelona can get 50 fans, how many fans would spurs get? but i did meet a gay spurs fan who fancies jermaine jenas - thats why he supports spurs.........i've started driving here (without a dmv licence) - borrwed a car and its piss easy,even my 8 year old nephew can drive here...........

My first week in hollywood

I thought i should give you guys a quick update on my first week in hollywood! After losing my deposit money for an apartment to a fat russian cow who takes drugs(how hollywood) I decided to hit the hollywood bowl and watch grace jones (apparently she is a legend - for those who dont know her she is the black girl from conan the barbarian or from 007 with roger moore) - she was great and could still shake it even though she was 61 years old. The crowd were electric and drunk (again how hollywood and always name dropping) the next few days was trying to apply for agents and get a day job, so i constructed over 5 different cv's or resumes - and went to every block from beverly hills to grove street to hollywood blvd to sunset and santa monica - and of course i got hit on from a few gay guys (how hollywood)

I saw a black man mug a white guy, than after the mugging the white guy pretended to act all macho and hard.............pleassssse. But the biggest obstacle is getting my dmv licence or driving licence - i have been to over 3 dmv stores to get my test done and 2 of them don't do it or have closed down permanently......so i decided to visit the third dmv office in glendale (which is about 12 miles) i decided to borrow the delivery bike from the hotel and ride it (its a bike from 1960's rusty and has a big board at the front)- I thought it was a nice day, so why not? it's an adventure so why not! half way through my bike ride the tyre popped - the curse of the dmv and i didnt make it - i had to carry my 2 cent bike all the way home, and thats when i got sunburnt - its been fun week and to top it off i got a new agent!!!!! not bad.........oh and spiderman is sitting next to me in the interent cafe, no lie.